Stories.. strange weird, funny and WTF?

[Debra]

ewww blasphemy

['lance]

... good Gawd. I expect that'll make William Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" and "Mr. Tambourine Man" massacrees sound like marvels of good taste.

[anne cameron]

Dear God:

I understand a thousand years are but a day in your eyes.  I also understand that you work six days and on the seventh you rest.  I would imagine that seventh day is also a thousand years.  So I guess you're resting?  Maybe even sleeping?  Well, I guess you're entitled to and need your sleep, I mean it can't have been easy designing the armadillo or the spiny sea urchin but the archangels aren't taking care of the store very well, and things have come to a total fucked up fare-thee-well down here.  And now this...

So consider me your celestial alarm clock.  I'm not asking you to wake up and get busy, but could you just give Gabriel and Michael a kick in the ass and tell them to smarten up and do a better job of things?

I can't do it myself, I'm overworked as it is trying to figure out why you made so many batshit crazy barking mad loony toons butt wipes.  You should'a made more armadillos,  instead.

thank you for your kind attention
me

[arborman]

... good Gawd. I expect that'll make William Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" and "Mr. Tambourine Man" massacrees sound like marvels of good taste.

Ye Gods.  Aside from his personal bizarreness, Mj has always made pretty good music.  But I cannot, just cannot, imagine Micheal Jackson singing a Robbie Burns Showtune.  Perhaps the end times are, in fact, upon us.

['lance]

I can't think what else this could portend. But I'd dispute the "always made pretty good music" part. I think he jumped the shark around the time of the HIStory tour -- though I grant you, I'm biased. Those bloody neo-fascist statues...

[Toedancer]

Carol Sinclair takes internet fixer hostage! Yay!

hey carol I always knew you considered play to be reality, but wow this is even better. We're there for you gril, totally. F'ing internet fixers are just unwholesome to begin with, I mean wtf, why do we even need them. Run you fixer, run run runaway.

[jrootham]

The link doesn't work.  Got another source?

[The Hegemo]

Ah, Middletucky...home to Big Butter Jesus and now this.

Best mugshot ever!

[sparqui]

:

[skdadl]

What does Middletucky mean, Hege?

[The Hegemo]

A lot of cities around here get the "-tucky" from Kentucky appended to their name to signify being kind of redneck places. Of course, lots of towns in Ohio have significant populations with roots in Appalachia (around Cincinnati it's mostly from Kentucky, around Columbus it's mostly from West Virginia or the Appalachian parts of Ohio). Middletown becomes Middletucky, Hamilton = Hamiltucky, Grove City = Grovetucky, etc. It's really kind of an obnoxious classist thing, and I should know better, but I just like how Middletucky rolls off the tongue.  

There was a minor blow-up in the Dispatch a few weeks ago about the use of "Grovetucky" in a headline -- the story was about how fast Grove City is growing, and the headline was something like "Grovetucky No More." People wrote in to complain.

[Debra]

talk about a house divided  :shock:

An estranged couple in Cambodia have sawed their house in half to avoid the country's convoluted divorce process.

Moeun Rim and his wife, Nhanh, who have been married nearly 40 years, split the building last week following an argument, local officials said.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7661786.stm

[Debra]

stupid criminals

The armed man initially put a small quantity of fuel in his bike's tank and then left his motorcyle running by the front of the kiosk on Millcreek Dr. when he entered it at about 2:40 a.m.

He then pulled out a gun and demanded the cashier fill up a bag with cash.

The cashier did but when the culprit exited, he dropped the bag and fled unaware that he had left the cash behind, police said.

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/517723

[Debra]

Legal case against God dismissed

A US judge has thrown out a case against God, ruling that because the defendant has no address, legal papers cannot be served.

The suit was launched by Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, who said he might appeal against the ruling.

He sought a permanent injunction to prevent the "death, destruction and terrorisation" caused by God.

Judge Marlon Polk said in his ruling that a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a case to proceed.

"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Judge Polk wrote in his ruling.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7673591.stm

[skdadl]

From failblog: The Wunder Boner.    :mrgreen:

I've never seen failblog before -- must look around for other funnies.