Sleeping with dogs

[fern hill]

On another thread k'in posted this:

then there's the challenges of sleeping with dogs...

http://www.funny-dog.com/sleepindogs

Quote:


Whoever said, "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs. The first thing you discover when you bring a dog into your bed is the striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at rest.

Rule #1: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.

Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the bed, with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping. The stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm his way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.



Rule #2: The deeper the sleep the louder the dog.

As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible. Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running, kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of canine fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years. It's particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.



Rule #3: When the dog wakes, you wake.

The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dog flesh sleeps breathing heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, its dawn and the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may position itself centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. The clever dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping bodies, or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting ear.

So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night safe, contented, heavy, and loud.

When my canine pal, Rufus, and I lived together, I slept on a 4-inch piece of foam on the floor. I wouldn't let him onto the bed. He slept beside me, on the floor, but he really wanted to share my pillow. So, I'd let him put his head on the pillow. Every night, he wound up on the mattress, usually shoving me off.

[deBeauxOs]

Of my friends who have dogs, about half do not allow their canine companions in their beds and the other half ... caved in.

Isn't there a saying: "You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas." ... ?   :shock:

[HeywoodFloyd]

We've mastered the art of sleeping with canines.

The art of sleeping in a house with young cats who love playing a midnight game of thundering wildebeasts on the plains of the Kalahari is an art yet to be mastered.

[Summer]

Oooooh, we caved at one point and let the dog sleep on the bed when she was a puppy.  She was so cute and fun to cuddle with and the best part was that she slept in a lot more on the bed.  

But then she got bigger and bigger and started taking up the whole bed and Mr. Summer and I would end up squished against the wall with our 50 pound mutt enjoying the rest of the bed!

Now we bought her a doggy bed from Canadian Tire and she sleeps on that.  Peaceful sleeps for everyone....


Although, we do still let her up on weekend mornings when we want a little more time to sleep in...we're such bad dog owners!

[fern hill]

Dogs rock.

[Debra]

Who's the King? You're the King! oh yes you are.....

[fern hill]

Cute, Debra. I am defeated by my own techo-stupidity. I was going to reply (wittily) with a photo of Bruce Springsteen (Da Boss), but can't figure out how to do it.

OK, I'll stop spamming. But I AM bored with hardly anyone to play with, and when I get really really bored. . . well, just wait and see.

[Debra]

uh oh  :shock:

[skdadl]

It's dial-up. That's the trick. I just got in that way.

Anybody else who can switch to dial-up, try that.