Author Topic: "There's something about men."  (Read 15880 times)

skdadl

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"There's something about men."
« Reply #30 on: September 23, 2007, 11:58:41 AM »
That was priceless, Crog. I remember that. Thank 'ee, m'dear.   :)

anne cameron

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"There's something about men."
« Reply #31 on: September 23, 2007, 08:59:36 PM »
Bonding.  Odd thing , bonding.  We're de-constructing the addition to my daughter's place, getting ready to construct a proper one...I'm the one pulling nails out of planks which can be recycled.  We'll probably get one-third to one-half of the construction material from stuff we've recycled.

It's been a "bonding" experience.  Odd.  Today the three loads of gravel arrived for backfill and I said I was sorry but I couldn't help them with that, I can't shovel or do wheelbarrow stuff because of my back.  Daughter just looked at me and shook her head and said Well, out on the ice flow with you, old woman.  Daughters' partner/bf/whatever just stared at the two of us and then said Would you two happen to be related?

And we all just grinned.

As for fishing..well, I'm not much of a fisher because I only fish to catch something to eat and my kids make sure I'm up to my hairline in fish so I have more to eat than I ever could so I don't go fishing

but I do love to be in a boat!  I could probably spend much of my life just being in a boat.  This springtime my son took me out to Gods Pocket.  There's a seal goes there with her baby every year, it's calm, the baby can practise swimming and diving while mom goes out of the bay to feast.  This year's baby was SO interested in us, obviously hadn't seen a boat up close...just before he got right up to the boat here came mom..and was she pissed!  She roared and the poor little guy nearly jumped out of his sealskin, raced his fat self back to the rock and hid behind it...mom stared at us..just STARED...man, that can send a chill right up your spine...we turned on the engine and backed out of her domain, and now all I have to do is close my eyes and it all re-plays for me.  The little guy smelled sort of milky and mom reeked of fish...sun dancing on the water, and the water so clear we could see all the way down to the moonsnail nests on the bottom...

my son and my daughters partner were both fish guiding this summer and even though they were out day after day after endless ten hour day what did they do on their first day "off".  Yep, went fishing!

But I don't know why men turn to women for emotional support...unless it's some kind of really deep connect to when they were nice little boys with dimpled knees and mommy could kiss it and make it better...but it sure does get wearying, especially when you encounter some of the ones who think they are entitled to female coddling...

I have sons, grandsons, nephews...and I do not understand much of what goes on with them...they started out exactly the same as the girls but then society grabs onto them and they seem to get nudged and pushed into something, I don't even know the word I want...prickly, defensive, always on guard against real or imagined slights or confrontation.

It's sad because they were SUCH nice little guys!

Maybe part of it is because so many of them are colour blind?

Timebandit

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"There's something about men."
« Reply #32 on: September 24, 2007, 05:01:23 PM »
Quote from: swallow
I find fishing dull, except for one trip in northern Ontario with my granddad & cousin back when I was 10. We caught almost nothing -- a week, and just one bass big enough to bother cooking. (We scrambled it up with some eggs, and it didn't taste so hot but it was one of the best meals I've ever had anyway.) On his deathbed last year, my granddad was dictating a letter to his grandchildren, a favourite memory for each one. That fishing trip was his first memory for my cousin and me; telling it tired him out so much that he had very little left for my sisters sadly.

It has to be the bonding, right? Being out in nature in the canoe, all that, but men aren't supposed to just talk without an activity that they are ostensibly "doing". Fishing is an activity that's mostly sitting, waiting, talking, I'd guess. Personally, I'd prefer the canoe and the wilderness without the fishing, but I think of paddling as an activity too.

This is all more socialized behaviour than hormones, though, isn't it?


Yes, it is.  I did a lot of "male bonding" activities with my father, fishing included.  He loved being out on the water, it didn't matter a damn whether we caught any fish -- it was time to just BE, the two of us together.  Sometimes we talked, sometimes we were silent, sometimes we laughed our heads off.  Same thing with deer hunting, we rambled over so much of the countryside and I got to share his love of the outdoors.  We spent a lot of time just enjoying each others company.  I can't see what testosterone has to do with any of it.

The winter before my dad died, he signed us up for an ice-fishing tournament.  We hadn't ice-fished in a long time, but it seemed really important to him so I borrowed a snowsuit and off we went.  -20, sitting in the snow out on Long Lake in Qu'Appelle Valley, snacks and schnapps in a brown paper bag and man oh man we had fun.  We didn't catch a damned thing.  I'm so glad I went.
Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it. -Rene Descartes, philosopher and mathematician (1596-1650)

anne cameron

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"There's something about men."
« Reply #33 on: September 24, 2007, 06:12:20 PM »
I suspect somewhere along the way society decided to condition men to believe they have to "do" something or they're lazy bums, good for nothing, waste of skin and space, beneath contempt.  So they were trained to "do" things...fish, ice fish, "hunt"... because what kind of slack assed bum would you be if you just sat or strolled together or...

My mom had to be busy "doing" something, too.  She said things like "the devil makes work for idle hands".  She used to take her knitting to the movies with her!

I've seen her reading a book and knitting fair isle sweaters.  No idle hands for Annie.

Maybe that's what "society" imposes on those nice little boys.  I do know, however, my golden boy and I would often go to the beach, put our bums in the sand, lean against a big log and just sit, looking out at nothing, maybe talking, maybe not...and the grrrrlfriends and I have done a similar thing.  I think it's important that we learn to be comfortable doing "nothing".

Timebandit , I'm glad you went ice fishing, too!

Be sure to do it again, even if you go by yourself, you wont' really be alone because you'll have memories to help keep you warm.

deBeauxOs

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"There's something about men."
« Reply #34 on: September 25, 2007, 12:57:38 AM »
The thing about that quality of rapport with a parent, is that it stays with you forever, a bedrock of memories that I've used to teach me how to develop comfortable & companiable, respectful and accepting communication with my daughter.  Spending quiet, contemplative time with her... it just brings my dad back.

Toedancer

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Re: "There's something about men."
« Reply #35 on: April 23, 2008, 11:37:40 PM »
Awww check this out. Scroll down to see his Victorian all-in-one PC.

http://boingboing.net/   8)
"Democracy is not the law of the majority, it's the protection of the minority." -Albert Camus 1913-1960

Mandos

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Re: "There's something about men."
« Reply #36 on: April 24, 2008, 09:51:29 AM »
Speaking of Boing Boing...

GHOST HOTELS!!!!

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