EM: I'm outta there

[Debra]

I can relate somewhat Gigi.

I remember after being punched in the face by a boyfriend I asked if his dick felt bigger now that he proved himself to be such a big man. Steel toed boots hurt BTW.

Wouldn't take it back though.  

[Gigi]

I can relate somewhat Gigi.

I remember after being punched in the face by a boyfriend I asked if his dick felt bigger now that he proved himself to be such a big man. Steel toed boots hurt BTW.

Wouldn't take it back though.  

Yikes!  He actually tried to get you to take it back by KICKING you?  There is a certain percentage of men who just boggle my mind.


I've never been hit by anyone - probably a combination of the men I pick (and yet I still don't seem to have that down to an art) and the amusing fact that men are terrified of me.  I strike men as being potentially psychotic, I think, and I am not really sure what it is.

I mean, sure I could hit the "O" in the "staff only" sign with a steak knife from across the room while growing up (we owned a restaurant), but they don't know that.  Mostly.

I'm actually somewhat surprised that no one has even gestured in that way (they were going to hit me).

[anne cameron]

I'm 67.  I've never been hit by a man.  I think they knew it would kick off something more like scorched earth policy than mere "war".  I also think it helps if they know you're halfway to insane at the best of times. (!)

I grew up watching my dad beat the snot out of my mom any old time he was in the mood to do it.  When not bullying her, he bullied my brother and I.  He went too far when my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister, he hauled off to let her have a right to the gut and I nailed him on top of the head with the poker.  It was made of rebar material, about as thick around as the average woman's thumb.  Knocked him to his knees, blood came from head, from nose, from ears, even from around his eye balls.  I played semi-professional softball, changed stance and was all set to hit a home run with his dome when Mom stepped in front of him.  I could NOT hit her.  She said "you'll kill him.".  I said something like I hope so.  She said then I would be like him.  Couldn't have that.  Put down the poker.  Regretted several times that I did but it was the last truly sick beating he put on any of the kids, although he still had at her when nobody was around to help defend her.

I carry that with me, at all times.  And I think the few men in my life sensed that all it would take would be one slap and I'd be right out of my gourd, and it would be to the finish.

The one exception to my claim of never having been hit by a man was my crazy uncle and he had to knock me cold to get his mangy ass out of the house .  But, of course, that was a "religious" difference of opinion so, of course, HE was right and I was, as in all things religious , wrong wrong wrong.  However, the kayo did not result in conversion so maybe even he learned something.

I taught all my kids to fight.  Not nicely.  Street fighting.  And I'll teach the grandgrrrrrrls, too.  Nobody is going to wind up pinned in a corner and helpless the way Annie was.

I still don't really understand why she didn't leave the mad fuck!  Ah, but when he wanted to be he was charming, the best dancer on the Island, sang like Bing Crosby, everyone thought he was SO nice....

blech

That just triggered something: Wasn't Bing Crosby a violent prick too?

[Gigi]

debatable?

[anne cameron]

I don't know about Der Bingle, but I do know my dad wasn't the only wing nut in town.  I've wondered about the influence of the war...what it does to the psyche to know you are learning how to slaughter people, what it does to the "family unit" to have the supposed "head" of it off learning how to destroy human life... most of the kids who went to school with me had dads who left lumps and bruises in their wakes.  I have ONE uncle who wasn't a power tripper, and he is still one of the most wonderful men to walk this earth.  I'm not sure what things are like for young women today, I have two daughters, they are not involved in abusive relationships but sometimes at night , even in this quiet village, I can hear roaring angry voices...people don't seem to be as quick to brutalize their kids as they were, but when they do they seem to go totally berserk and the death rate is appalling.  I find people crankier and less tolerant , much less friendly than used to be the case, and the behaviour of most teens is downright shocking, there's a simmering anger at work in many young people, it seems to explode in terrible ways.  Which brings me back to wondering about the impact of war, TV images of Iraq, Somalia, Afghanistan and what that does to the human soul.  I am sadly aware each time I fill my gas tank that while I pay for fuel with money someone paid with blood, it makes it difficult for me to even think about "holiday" or "vacation" knowing the gas I'm burning was bought with horror.  I think the Women's Movement has equipped women to better deal with male violence, I'm not sure we've had much direct impact on the men, particularly the violent ones.  All the fuss over special licences, etc., for pit bulls and rottweillers and more women are mutilated and killed every year by men, maybe we should have special permits to harbour and give home to violent ones?

Well, at first I just remembered those allegations about Bing Crosby.  Then, what got me to actually post was the whole "charming" thing.

A step-father of a woman i used to know was also known as gregarious, generous, I wouldn't say "charming" but there was a charisma there.  He achieved it by being confident, helpful, loudly "pleased ta meet'cha!" and generous in helping or loaning money.  But he was an abusive bully.

Someone's grandfather surprised his daughter once, when she saw him on the bus when she was around 10 years old.  This sullen angry violent drunk appeared to know everybody in the community and to be on quite good terms with them all.  And as far as they could have told, he was quite smitten with his wife and little girls.

I've heard that abusive men can be charming.  I was thinking maybe it was a bipolar thing, but that stuff comes and goes for weeks, not during the day.  

Maybe there's something to do with balancing extremes though.

It'd be nice if Bing was actually as nice as the guys he played and if his character matched his voice though.

[deBeauxOs]

I've heard that abusive men can be charming.  I was thinking maybe it was a bipolar thing ...

 More like a sociopath thing.  

There is a pattern of behaviour that can be observed in all bullies (male and female): they know how to recognize potential victims (those unlikely to fight back), they hurt the ones they "love" (family members, lovers, partners) and they avoid other bullies, except as allies.

[Bacchus]

Magoo you were turfed?

And Hello everyone!  I'd been trying to find this place for a few days now and could never get the URL to work. Then I log on to EM and find a new shitstorm

But with a URL that worked!! :D  Yay me!

Welcome Bacchus.

And Left Turn too. Welcome Left Turn. I haven't always been nice to you in the past, but I don't mind ya. I don't mind most peope. I try to stick to the arguement instead of the person.

[Bacchus]

Thanks Eph,

I read your request to be banned at EM with such crushing sadeness, especially since I finally got Mrs Bacchus to register so Im glad to see a place that I can see you!

I stayed out of the current flameups after trying to post a few 'calming' posts for the first one that cost us soo many posters but gave up since the gristle chewing wouldnt stop and totally stayed away from the other flameups. I'll still post there on stuff that interests me but its a tad too toxic for anything more for me now. I dont want to choose sides and to be frank, I was bullied far too much as a child to want to watch it, let alone participate and I like to think Ive grown a bit in the last year or so anyway

[Herr Magoo]

Magoo you were turfed?

Sorry to confuse; only from babble.

[Bacchus]

Geez I didnt even know you were turfed from babble either. I jsut faded from there, I doubt it even caused a ripple

[fern hill]

(Stealing eph's signature line for a moment) And on that note, I'm back from self-banning. Left the posts. The self-banning is actually quite a touching little ceremony. I recommend it.  :wink:

[Gigi]

(Stealing eph's signature line for a moment) And on that note, I'm back from self-banning. Left the posts. The self-banning is actually quite a touching little ceremony. I recommend it.  :wink:

See, removing the posts is two-fold for me:

1. They're mine.  I'm not deleting someone else's posts.
2. I don't really want to contribute to the illusion that there is Feminist discourse there, and that it is a welcoming place for feminists.

I've never felt the need to do that with any other board I have left.