The I-need-to-talk-in-the-middle-of-the-night thread

[Sleeping Sun]

arborman, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.  I've been to the bottom of that pit a few times in my life, and it's never easy climbing back out.

I've also recently experienced a bit of what you're describing from the other side.  Last year, Mr. Sun's job went from ok to horrible, as the project he was working on was shut down and he was transferred into what is lovingly known in sofware circles as a "Death March".  In fact, he was promoted to some sort of authority, which at first seemed good, until he saw what was going on.  The long days.  The sleepless nights.  The coming home from work and collapsing on the couch for an hour from sheer mental and emotional and spiritual exhaustion.  The declining health.  The lack of joy in life.  It was not good.

He felt he had to keep going, seeing as he was making 1.5 times what I do and we knew we were (hopefully) going to have a child.  But, after watching him suffer for longer than I should have, we had one of 'those' talks.  What he was doing was not good for him, or for us, or for the child we were going to raise.  So, we talked with the financial people, tightened the budget, renegotiated the mortgage, I started working overtime when I could, and he left.  It was a shock to the pocketbook, but the difference in him was worth every penny and twice again as much.  I had my partner back.

He's still at home, working solo, and slowly recovering from other health problems.  Occasionally he grumbles about having to return to the industry, but there are many other options.  We've talked about having one of us (and it's looking like him now, unless his company really takes off, which it might) stay home for the first few years.  There are lots of city and community centre provided play groups that provide the socialization aspect of day-care at no or minimal cost.

I don't want to assume too much about your situation, or say that it will be easy or obvious how to make it work.  It is hard, and it involves challenging how we value our contributions.  But it is undeniably worth it.  Sometimes, the best support you can provide is not financial, but to be a healthy and happy partner and father.

And know that all of us are here for you and wishing you the best.

Take care, arborman.

[gunnar gunnarson]

Well, Croghan, the big wheel keeps on turnin'.  'lance did the same thing to me back in the day.  Bloody thing is, he's such a good barman.

['lance]

[nonsense]

Why thanks, gunnar -- the praise of one's peers is the highest.

"Back in the day," though? Ah well, I suppose my fooling grows old, and people tire of it. I tire of it myself, now and again. Où sont les pantalons snerqueses d'antan? And other melancholy, rainy-Wednesday-in-February-type thoughts.

Regardlessly: thanks for the shout-out, as the young people (reportedly) say.

the big wheel keeps on turnin'

Ain't it the truth. Proud Debra keeps on burnin'. Rollin' on the interweb.

[/nonsense]

Count me among the sympathetic, or empathetic, arborman. Seems like we've all been there. I certainly expect to be again, sooner or later.

[Herr Magoo]

We could do cost-sharing on a hitman or hitwoman. There are a couple of people at my workplace I'd like offed.

In lieu of "pay what you can", or shopping around for some cheap, shoddy, bargain hitman, what if we could get one really good shooter and then just find a way to get all of our enemies' heads in a row?  Maybe on the pretense of a group photo?

"Ok, I want all the little assholes on chairs beside the taller dickwads.  That's right... just scootch over to the prick beside you... closer... closer..."

[skdadl]

Gee. Just in time for Valentine's Day, too.   :

[fern hill]

Because the sun is over the yardarm, this was a wine-snorting-through-nose event. Wine hurts more than coffee.

Où sont les pantalons snerqueses d'antan?

You owe me a drink, barkeep. :lol:

['lance]

Sorry 'bout that, comrade fyrnova. Got a favourite varietal or vintage?

[fern hill]

Let's not drift this serious thread any further. Though I do hope arborman gets a giggle like I did.

[Bacchus]

We could be somewhat healthy


or maybe just spiked tea


or to colour up the place


Or a nice amarula swirl

[gunnar gunnarson]

Où sont les pantalons snerqueses d'antan?

Dash it all, fern, the man's got a point.  And besides, it does sound better in french.

['lance]

Even so, I'm indebted to you, gunnar, for the expression "snerkypants."

[gunnar gunnarson]

Even so, I'm indebted to you, gunnar, for the expression "snerkypants."

At your service, my good fellow, at your service.  Although I do hope skdadl takes note of the caveat with which it was introduced.

['lance]

I saw that. Perhaps she rarely snerks, especially hereabouts; perhaps she hasn't done so in some time; but it's not true to say she never snerks. The stories I could tell you -- ah, yes, the stories I could tell you...

[skdadl]

*snerk*

(That happened on another thread, didn't it? I saw it, but then I couldn't find it again. At least, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.)

['lance]

A search tells me it  happened -- at least, happened first -- on another board, and way back in the foggy mists of time.

It's a fallen world, after all. We're all of us poor sinners, and none of us snerk-virgins, here below.