cancer treatment & lack of options

[BlueGrey]

I have 3 members of my extended family right now who are dealing with cancer.  The first had a lump removed and her nodes were fine.  She is considering declining the recommended chemo/radiation as she considers herself cured and further treatment would just be preventative.  

The second family member's breast cancer was more advanced.  She had surgery and is now doing chemo.  According to her oncologist, she has a 50% outlook for five years post-surgery, improved by another 10% by the chemo, and another 5% by radiation.  She's a vibrant and energetic woman (mid-40s) with a 10 year old boy.  She's questioning her follow-up treatment as she says "What am I going through this hell for?  Just a 15% return?"

The third family member is gravely ill, fighting (and losing) her third go-round with brain cancer.  Her oncologist says that round #3 was likely caused by previous radiation treatment (years ago, when she was in her early twenties).

I guess my question is:  Why haven't we come up with something better than these barbaric treatments?  I have my reservations about the medical profession in general so perhaps I'm unduly skeptical.  But is anybody researching more humane and effective care?  Just wondering.

[BlueGrey]

I was really hoping someone would have responded here (thanks for the PM, though!).  I talked to family member #2 today.  She's holding steady, looks really well and has obviously kept her spirit working for her.  She has some extended health coverage through her husband's work.  She's getting financial help through some dip-shit bureaucratic program that tops up her health expenses.  For the pleasure of her chemotherapy, Big Pharma is charging (1) her, (2) the govvie, (3) her health insurer $1,600 a week.  One fucking week costs $1,600.  Are these guys serving the public or their stockholders?  (Rhetorical, don't answer.)

[Gigi]

I, for one, did not reply for a handful of reasons:
1. No medical degree
2. Not wanting to give false hope where I have no specific information
3. Staying far away from being misconstrued as offering a solution when all I have is some anecdotal information in other areas.

I do empathise with your situation - my family had a weird run of cases last year.

[skdadl]

I have to echo Gigi's reasons, BG. I have a lot of anecdotal information (beginning with my own story), but the cases cover such a broad range. It strikes me that I know of very few people who have refused treatment (beyond surgery); I know of many survivors who've gone through radiation and chemo and apparently won, and then a few who suffered through treatment and lost, which always seems hard, but it is a choice that most people seem to want to have available.

June Callwood is an example of someone who refused further treatment and then went on to live, I believe, ten years (?) beyond what had been predicted -- and she lived them very well until almost the end. I suspect that's a very unusual case, though.

I got the luckiest diagnosis -- surgery with no further treatment recommended, although regular visits to the oncologist. That's also very unusual, though. And you're always told, once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient.

[BlueGrey]

Thanks, you guys.

I'm just bummed because there is absolutely nothing I can do for these people except love them.  We are having a party here in August, which I desperately want my very ill cousin to attend.  It is very awkward to keep saying "looking forward to seeing you here" when it's not at all clear that she will be alive still then.  (I am going to see her early in July but I really want her to come and spend part of her summer with me here.)  I say really stupid things like "we're going to let our hair down" because I forget that not everybody still has their hair.  And when someone croaks at me on the phone "I'm not going to make it.  I am slipping away ...." I am at a loss for words.