Merde! Antonia beat me to this.
Indeed "baiser" used to mean kiss and its use for "going all the way" was originally a euphemism. A more polite way of saying "On n'y baise rien" is "on n'y pige rien".
Un baiser does mean a kiss though, not a fuck. Bons baisers de France! Un bisou! Over here we could also talk about "bons becs"... (familiar).
Foutre means to fuck, but "foutu" is often used to mean ruined. On this side of the pond, in some contexts, we could also say "fucké" - a VERY mild oath. "Niquer" was very popular slang in the late 20th century (originally from working-class and immigrant banlieues and districts of Paris, but it has spread - "nique ta mère" is similar to calling someone a m-f er. NTM is a bit old-fashioned, say younger Parisian friends.
Not quite "Zut alors" though!