Author Topic: 25 forever?  (Read 8025 times)

Debra

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25 forever?
« on: May 25, 2006, 05:27:50 PM »
There are a number of ads these days that  have women wishing they were 25 again or that claim to make you look or feel 25 again.

Do you wish you were 25 again?

or if you are around the age of 25 do you wish you could stay that age forever?

Even as a youngen I can remember thinking the people with lines on their face were so much more interesting.

To me it seemed like a story of the life they had lived, places they had been, things they had learned, things they had survived.

Sure I sometimes miss the lean firm body and ease of movement I had at 25 but I don't want to go back.

I've learned alot about myself and the world since then.

I don't feel I need to compete with women almost half my age.
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

kuri

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25 forever?
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2006, 07:02:25 PM »
I turned 26 4 days ago, and 25 was kind of a turbulent year, so I'd rather not relive it.

This birthday was a little different, because it marked a time when instead of just wishing I could be 65 and be retired with grandkids the realization kicked in that I'm going to have to deal with the in-between part between youth and senior-age.

The people at my work were encouraging me to lie and say that I turned 19 because it's kind of a tradition there to lie about one's age there, especially amonng the ladies who are all "29 and counting". I had to bit my tongue to keep from saying what I thought: "I'd rather not discard my dignity, thank you very much." Seeing as I look forward to being older (I still associate it with comfort), I don't really know how to respond to all these women who fight and deny their age.

Alix

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25 forever?
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2006, 10:33:06 AM »
I always want to roll my eyes too at women who want to pretend that they haven't gotten a year older. I mean, we all do it, at the same rate. Everyone will be whatever age eventually, if they survive that long.

What's to be upset about?

I'm 28, and I just had the best year of my life so far. I wasn't ready to do what I did before this last year, and I'm glad I waited. (Now I'm bitter that I don't get to go on and do my PhD right away, but that's another story.)

My husband was pretty twitchy when he turned 30, and has always thought of it as "getting old," and he hates to be reminded that he's now 35. But I don't have any qualms about getting to 30. I lived through each of those days. That's what birthdays mark.
"If permanence were possible, why would the seasons change?"
- Naguib Mahfouz

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25 forever?
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2006, 01:29:22 PM »
I wish I was 79.

Btw, I made it!

Debra

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25 forever?
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2006, 01:35:00 PM »
here or to 79?  :lol:
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

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25 forever?
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2006, 01:53:50 PM »
lol! here, silly! I am 25.

shaolin

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25 forever?
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2006, 01:15:22 PM »
I don't have any particular desire to be older, but then, I'm not particularly fearing getting older either.  I like the idea of increased wisdom and all that knowldege I'm not already in possession.  I don't like the idea of boobs to my belly-button (they're already in my way - they'll be even more so when gravity does it's thing...) or not being able to run around like a maniac or do the splits...

I think my biggest fear about the passing of time is the passing on of people I care about.  I don't fear my own death, but I do fear their deaths.

skdadl

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25 forever?
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2006, 04:02:25 PM »
The one thing that makes me sad about how I look as I age is my eyes. I have pouches under my eyes now -- there's just no denying that, and it is my one petty vanity. I look at photos of me at eighteen and I could weep over those eyes, that skin, so ... well, unsaggy, at least.

Younger people's faces do touch me, give me a pang, when I think of what has happened to mine. I sometimes want to tell younger women who feel insecure about their looks just how beautiful almost any young face looks to a geezer like me now. Trust me: one day you will feel that too. At eighteen, or at twenty-five, you were beautiful! You were! You are. Enjoy while you are there, wherever you are.

Most of my friends are now hitting sixty, and I wouldn't say that any of us is exactly comfortable. Some are in better shape than others, but almost everyone has faced one kind of serious health challenge or another. Sometimes that's what drives people to get back into shape: that sudden chilling hint of mortality that serious illness brings. I do know sixtysomethings and seventysomethings who have risen to the challenge magnificently.

I would not be one of those, but I see the wisdom of what they have done.

The oldest woman I know well is now eighty-eight, and probably more active than I am. She runs on a lot of anger, too. Her favourite line is "Old age is not for sissies." For her, piss and vinegar have definitely been a winning formula, and that can make her fun to be around, although I'm not sure how much fun she has in her private moments.

There isn't any easy transcendence, I don't think.

Timebandit

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25 forever?
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2006, 12:12:19 AM »
Quote from: shaolin
I don't have any particular desire to be older, but then, I'm not particularly fearing getting older either.  I like the idea of increased wisdom and all that knowldege I'm not already in possession.  I don't like the idea of boobs to my belly-button (they're already in my way - they'll be even more so when gravity does it's thing...) or not being able to run around like a maniac or do the splits...

I think my biggest fear about the passing of time is the passing on of people I care about.  I don't fear my own death, but I do fear their deaths.


Why can't you do the splits when you're older?

I'm 40, and I'm learning to do the splits -- I'm almost there, too.  I couldn't at 25.  My Sigu (kung fu teacher) is 60 and can do the splits.  She started kung fu in her late 40s, couldn't do splits before that.  And one of my favourite posters is an old lady doing a front split *standing!*, on a traffic sign!

If you can do the splits, just keep on doing it, and it'll stay with you.   :D

Now, me.  No, not 25 again, not for the world.  I'm in as good or better shape physically, much better emotionally and my life seems to have started on a roll in my 30s that I hope will continue on.  I like being 40.  People don't pat you on the head (metaphorically) like they do when you're in your 20s, and you worry less about a lot of things.  I'm in no hurry to get old, by any means, but I like where I am right now.  

I think liking where you are is the best you can do.
Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it. -Rene Descartes, philosopher and mathematician (1596-1650)

fern hill

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25 forever?
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2006, 07:38:09 AM »
My mother used to drive me nuts with this: 'You really don't know anything until you're X years old.' The X (a variable, after all) was always rounded down from whatever benchmark she had just passed. So, when she was in her late 40s, the number was 45. And, of course, I would never catch up.

One of my favourite people is a young woman who just turned 25. She works for my sweetie, while working on her own stuff, painting and print-making. She and her sweetie met at art school and are determined to be real, professional, full-time artists.

Sweetie and I were together when we were 25 and we look at these two and marvel at how much more 'together' (to use an old phrase) they are. Compared to them, we were pretty clueless. They know what they want and have no (OK, maybe some) illusions about what it will take to get it.

So, yeah, I'd be this young woman at 25. But I wouldn't want to be my own witless younger self.

shaolin

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25 forever?
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2006, 11:19:42 AM »
Quote
Why can't you do the splits when you're older?

No reason, in particular.  Though I was thinking more like seventy, rather than forty.

Quote
I think liking where you are is the best you can do.


I agree with this.  For me, even participating in a conversation like this, makes it easy to feel defensive.  Like: hey!  No one pats me on the head just because I'm in my early 20s!  I don't want you to feel like competing with women half your age!  Or maybe, what's wrong with belly-button boobs?!  Etc, etc...

lagatta

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25 forever?
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2006, 11:45:15 AM »
Well, belly-button boobs aren't exactly the most aesthetically pleasing thing (fortunately mine are nowhere near that bad yet) but for the hets among us, I guess the guys face their own challenges.

I AM interested in aesthetics.

No bags and very few, very slight wrinkles (good genes that way) but I find it terribly difficult to lose weight even if I am very careful about what I eat and to get enough exercise. I wish I could slim down enough to be able to go swimming at least. as that would help me keep in shape during the wintertime.

I've seen that pic of the old dame doing the split too, but it must be kept in mind that the majority of reasonably fit seniors of her age group can't do splits; I'll stick to looking at old Dutch ladies on their bicycles and old Italian ladies in their vegetable plots...

We never know in terms of health, try as we might. A fellow I know who is a highly-skilled manual worker and was always very fit and slim has come down with MS; that is a drastic example but there are many more minor ones; I get arthritis wherever I have an injury, and it is not horribly crippling but I do hobble a bit on chilly, humid days when I haven't done enough exercise yet.

25, I don't know, but I'd certainly rather be twenty years younger than I am. Remember that even for fit, active 79-year-olds, the diminished future and lost friends are a big minus in their lives.

Personally I'm very annoyed by the economics of the meet market, but the problem is as much social as physiological (men dying of in my cohort). I'm still of an age where their preference for much younger women and their greater economic opportunities to attract them are more of a problem than the ageing as such.

And no, I don't enjoy loneliness.

As you probably know, I've met someone very nice and gentle, of my own age group, but he was married for a long time and fond as he is of me, has a bit of cold feet about his own desires for involvement, so that is rather annoying, much as I enjoy being with him.
" Eure \'Ordnung\' ist auf Sand gebaut. Die Revolution wird sich morgen schon \'rasselnd wieder in die Höhe richten\' und zu eurem Schrecken mit Posaunenklang verkünden: \'Ich war, ich bin, ich werde sein!\' "
Rosa Luxemburg

vmichel

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25 forever?
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2006, 12:03:09 PM »
25 blew. Pretty much every year since 21 has been an improvement on the last for me! This trend is making me very optimistic about the future  :D

Timebandit

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25 forever?
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2006, 06:02:08 PM »
Quote
I've seen that pic of the old dame doing the split too, but it must be kept in mind that the majority of reasonably fit seniors of her age group can't do splits;

True, but neither can the majority of 25 year olds.  My point was simply, if you can, keep it up, and you won't lose the ability for a very long, long time.   :)

Quote
Though I was thinking more like seventy, rather than forty.


Yes, I got that.  And like I said, my kung fu teacher is 60 and still can...
Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it. -Rene Descartes, philosopher and mathematician (1596-1650)

schooner

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25 forever?
« Reply #14 on: May 30, 2006, 06:59:41 PM »
kuri:
Quote
Seeing as I look forward to being older (I still associate it with comfort), I don't really know how to respond to all these women who fight and deny their age.

There is no comfort in growing old. Your eyes fail; your joints ache (even if you've been practicing your splits, one day they just stay split until the paramedics pick you up off the floor and that's when you find out how long the waiting list is for hip-replacement); your kids are a disappointment; nobody takes you seriously; winters are longer and colder; nobody will hire you...
And you're scared all the time. You're afraid your partner will get sick and then you'll have to make decisions about his care and make the wrong ones; that you won't be able to take proper care of him; that he'll die; that he won't die nicely. You're afraid you'll get sick and - all the rest of it. You're afraid of losing control, losing power over your own life. You're afraid that if you become incapacitated, your pets will have no protector. You're afraid that the house you put all that work and love into is too isolated, or too hard to maintain, or too expensive, and you'll have to move - but where?  You're afraid of losing your driving license. You're afraid that a neo-con government will cancel your health and drug benefits - and maybe your pension.

The great thing about being 25 is that you're still immortal and have all the options, all the do-overs; it's not too late for anything. (Pretending to be 25 is just silly.)
All the same, it's not the age i would choose to stay at. 45 was better.

 

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