Author Topic: 25 forever?  (Read 8016 times)

kuri

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25 forever?
« Reply #15 on: May 30, 2006, 09:55:29 PM »
I guess the comfort I was talking about was more social comfort, schooner. I've often felt that being young means have to "prove something" while one can relax more when old - in a "I've proven all I need to by living this long" kind of way.

I don't look forward to physical discomfort, that's for sure. But I wouldn't say that all elderly people are scared all the time. I'm gotten to know some fabulously brave ladies when I worked on a campaign last winter who are all too aware of problems of impending privatization of health care and the ever dwindling number of long-term care spaces.

And similarly, I guess 25 can look immortal, but it isn't really. A good number of my cohort have gone from accidents, cancer or murder. Considering I don't run with a "high risk" crowd, it sometimes surprises me to think of the number of school friends who have died already. Immortality is an illusion at any time.

schooner

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25 forever?
« Reply #16 on: May 30, 2006, 10:42:59 PM »
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But I wouldn't say that all elderly people are scared all the time.

I forgot to mention: afraid that the young will smell your fear.  

Of course i was exaggerating a bit. Sometimes we're busy and forget how scared we are, for hours at a time.
You're right about the other thing, too. There is a certain comfort in knowing who you are; being as good/smart/successful/lovable as you're ever going to get; not worrying about how other people perceive you; not having to vie for a place in the pecking order; finally donating to the library sale whichever classic you've been procrastinating to the bottom of the pile on your night-table for years.

suzette

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25 forever?
« Reply #17 on: June 01, 2006, 07:21:07 AM »
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25 blew. Pretty much every year since 21 has been an improvement on the last for me! This trend is making me very optimistic about the future  :D

Yeah, same here!  I was an idiot at 25.  I was uncertain of everything, based my faultering self-esteem on the opinions of others, made dumb decisions, did little of genuine worth because I "knew" I wasn't good enough to do so.  But, those years contributed to who I am today, so I guess it's not all bad.  

Every year is an improvement for me in that I understand the way the world works and the way I work that little bit more.  I do wish I'd get that understanding a little quicker, though.  

I'm only 36, but I'm starting to see the Rule of Inverse Proportion coming into play in my life: wisdom is inversely proportional to bodily well-being.

25 = perky, robust body + not a clue (I'm speaking for myself here)

36 = body starting to creak and groan and sag + just beginning to get it together

Cruel world. ;)

kuri

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25 forever?
« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2006, 02:05:09 PM »
One significant thing about the age 25 that should be mentioned is that it is the last year that most organizations (and the Canadian government) consider one to be "youth". (She says after seeing a series of interesting programmes that she's just one year too old for and thinking, "I should have done more stuff like that when I had the opportunity...)

anne cameron

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25 forever?
« Reply #19 on: June 03, 2006, 04:23:53 PM »
Well, I'm 67, in August I'll be 68.  And it's true, old age isn't for jam tarts.  When I think of who and what I was at 25 I'm glad I made it further but when I think of the BACK I had at 25 I can only sigh and wish for the fair godmother to tap my forehead with her wand...I've had spinal surgery, it gave me back my legs but the pain continues.  Now the doctor wants me to agree to go on the waiting list for more surgery and I'm saying no.  Only so many spaces in the operating room, only so many hours per doctor allowed, better to use the time and space on someone younger, someone for whom there is going to be some "future" to take advantage of the relief.  I wear a "patch", change it every three days, it's "duragesic", fentanyl in a transdermal system.  Not lightweight stuff.  It doesn't do the job, they tell me to take Dilaudid as well.  I figure if I do that I'm half a step to the side of a street junky.  WIthout the medication I can't do a dam thing.  With it I can have a pretty normal sort of old age as long as I remember that every half hour or so I have to sit and if that doesn't stop the pain I have to lie down.  Can't pick my grandgrrrrrrrls up, I have to first sit down, then either someone hands the baby to me or Lilli clambers up on my knee.  When I was twentyfive I had kids hanging off me like ticks, walked around carrying three or four at a time, took them swimming, taught them to climb trees.  Now ... yeah, I get envious.  I watched my daughter the other day heading off with her nieces...Emily was pedalling furiously, Erin was running and carrying Lilli who was laughing like hell..when they go anywhere with me Em pedals slowly and Lil holds my hand and trundles along beside me.  I loved watching Erin racing off with them but I did think god, kids should have that in their lives ALL the time, not just when schedules intersect.  I'll never do any of that again.  I don't feel bummed out about it, and I know the grrrrrrrrrrls and I take full advantage of what we've got, and I know I am one of the luckiest women in the country to have them so close that I get to see them every day but yeah, I'd like the back I had when I was 25.  Then I suppose I'd set about frapping it the same way doing the same things all over again.  A kid on each hip, one piggyback behind and another clinging at the front is a sure design for future trouble!!!  Was it worth it?

Oh yeah!

lagatta

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« Reply #20 on: June 03, 2006, 05:20:38 PM »
Anne, if you can get the surgery and it will do you help (considering any surgery is an "insult" to the system), don't turn it down because a younger person is somehow more valuable than you. All people are entitled to surgery; it is up to the health system to get it for them.

I might agree with you about say, an organ transplant, but not back surgery.
" Eure \'Ordnung\' ist auf Sand gebaut. Die Revolution wird sich morgen schon \'rasselnd wieder in die Höhe richten\' und zu eurem Schrecken mit Posaunenklang verkünden: \'Ich war, ich bin, ich werde sein!\' "
Rosa Luxemburg

Toedancer

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25 forever?
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2006, 07:22:46 PM »
Anne, I'm thinking about you and what you said. It is important that you do not let it go. I've been told my back cannot have surgery because I have more than 1 herniated disc, (3). So I am testing that theory right now.

Plus DDD, arthritis in both knees, one worse. Plus very bad shoulder/arm, called Rotary Cuff, with 50% use in my using arm, my left. But I cannot get access to therapy because Manulife doesn't do electronic billing. So I get along anyway. Learning to use my right very well. Didn't even know I was ambrydextrous (sp?) EWW that's wrong, but whatever. I keep on. And I like it. Not much slows me down. Well, that's not true, my partner does.
"Democracy is not the law of the majority, it's the protection of the minority." -Albert Camus 1913-1960

skdadl

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25 forever?
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2006, 06:13:17 AM »
Och, anne, I ache for you.

We have a long-time friend here (I'll call her Dottie) who would now be in her early seventies, I guess. Beautiful woman, mother of two beautiful and talented adult children, grandma, lovely family of gentle people, talented all over the place ... with just one sadness.

In her late fifties, when she was younger than I am now, Dottie had a bungled hip replacement. She had been in bad pain before; the story I heard was that the surgeon inserted the wrong-sized ball into the socket (or something like that -- it was definitely his fault); she came out of surgery still in pain but now walking even worse than before.

I don't understand the psychology of it, to be fair -- in Dottie's case, given what a gentle soul she is, she may have become depressed -- anyway, her position from the first was that she didn't want to make any more trouble, couldn't face the surgery and the hope again, and just intended to live with the disability from then on. As I understand it, she could have had the surgery again and in all likelihood it would have worked. Hips, of course, should be a more certain thing than backs, and an easier one. But she wouldn't, just turned away from it.

She has walked with a cane, and very heavily, ever since. I wouldn't call her an invalid, but you can see right away how her whole body has been thrown out of alignment. She can't stand for long, and she tires more and more easily. There are many things she hasn't been able to do for herself for twelve, thirteen years, so she has become semi-dependent on her son and his wife, which in some ways is great since they are so good (they bought a house next door to Dottie), but still.

She is a lovely person, and in some ways I am in awe of her resignation to her fate, if fate that can be called. For sure I know how it feels to turn away from being medicalized any longer, just to say "I've had enough; let life do with me what it will." I sometimes take that position.

But of course it is always easier to throw "common sense" at other people.  :wink:   And sometimes when I'm with Dottie, I can't help thinking of the twelve, thirteen years (so far, and counting) of healthy walking that she gave up on. It just seems so unfair to me. Well: it is unfair. What happened to Dottie was unfair. And she felt she didn't have the right to fight unfairness.

anne cameron

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25 forever?
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2006, 08:48:57 AM »
She might well be afraid the next one will go even worse!!  For sure I'm frightened.  Mostly I say no because if there are only 25 of something which will add twenty years if improvement to someone, then better "my" turn go to someone younger, someone who has those 20 active years.  I'm 67, no matter what they do most of my active years are well behind me.  And I'm scared.  Spinal surgery is so damned painful!  So I make jokes.  Not good jokes and not funny jokes, but they prop me up.  "Dang, they're makin' good drugs these days, Zeke."..."Go see the doctor, maybe he's got a new narcotic to try..".. weak things like that.  A young friend of my daughter had her ankle smashed, has had five surgeries and has just been told "they" have a "new technique" which might...and she's saying no, too, because each surgery has made things worse.  I think at some point you just get exhausted.  I mean I know my kids would rally, would look after the critters, would stay with me, cook for me, I've just had that hip thing and you couldn't buy the kind of care I received.  But it all seems like too much.  I don't handle anaesthetic at all well, blood pressure immediately drops to scarey levels.  They used a spinal for the hip so I got to hear all the hammering and banging, the sawing and grinding, that's the stuff of nightmares!  And I don't think they can use a spinal for the back procedure.  If I get over being such a chicken, or if we get a government which will properly fund the medical system so there's no limit on the amount of surgery that can be done...maybe yes.

I see no reason why an operating room can't just go full bore 24/7, it makes no sense to me that entire wings of hospitals are closed because of "lack of funding" when people are waiting too long for cancern surgery and going on "waiting lists" for a year and a half for hip replacement...so I continue to do what I can, write my letters,  agitate, whatever I can do to stop the neo-con agenda.

They stand in front of TV cameras and go on about how privatization is the best thing since the flood waters went down and totally ignore or deny the statistics from USA where people are dying for lack of medical care.

chcmd

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25 forever?
« Reply #24 on: June 05, 2006, 01:36:08 PM »
My 25th birthday was the only one I can remember where I got absolutely down-in-the-gutter depressed.  No idea why, but it really hit me hard.  I guess 'cause that's when a person is supposed to be really "grown-up"?  Of course I was no-where near growing up, I was about 7 years in on a 12 year party!

I love getting older, every year is better than the last.  I will be 44 later this month, I find I need to think for a few seconds to remember how old I am - I was entering 42 as my age on the cardio machine for most of this year!  Oops.

Down side is the body breaking down of course - I was really hard on myself when I was young and invincible, worked non-traditional heavy labour type stuff for quite a few years in my 20's.  So I pay now with a constant background pain that occasionally flairs into fits of ouch that I just want to cry "UNCLE!!!!"  "I GIVE!!"

I am so comfortable in my own skin now, and I never was when I was younger.  I love the feeling of not giving a rat's ass what anyone else thinks - so damn liberating!

And I'm OK with the wrinkles, and fortunate with genetics - spent oodles of time on the water, but didn't end up too leathery!

The only thing I would change if I could is my belly-button boobs - It's been over 13 years since childbirth/nursing blew them out and I still can't get used to the fact that they look down at my toes instead of out at the world, and nest in my armpits when I lay on my back :shock:
Feel the fear and do it anyway

Stargazer

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25 forever?
« Reply #25 on: June 08, 2006, 07:04:59 AM »
Anne - go and take care of it. You're worth it. Besides, we need some more good reading material.


I am sometimes completely freaked out about getting old. Mostly I think about actual death, and I don't think I'll be able to cope when I'm on my death bed. Hopefully I will. I think about not finding someone because I'm too old (I just turned 41 but I am already a grandmother). I worry about my body (old anorexia issues). I worry about who will take care of my grandson Wee Mac. I worry about wrinkles and looking too old to go see bands (which I love to do).

But then I look around and critically at myself and realize that I am in good physical shape because of the gym. I don't look 41 and that eventually I'll have enough courage to come out all the way and get on with my life because this part is not coming along at all. Yes that was vague, mainly because it is scary.

 

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