Author Topic: Strange Parenting ...  (Read 11598 times)

Alix

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« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2006, 04:14:13 PM »
Oh, I remembered something else that made me uncomfortable - the very idea that being a good parent is something that is exchanged for obedience.

I mean, excuse me? If you're a parent, aren't you supposed to (theoretically, anyway. I know there are parents who don't.) have integrity and take care of your children, even if they don't obey your every word?
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brebis noire

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« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2006, 06:39:33 PM »
Quote
Oh, I remembered something else that made me uncomfortable - the very idea that being a good parent is something that is exchanged for obedience.


Hmm. Interesting that you mention it, because that is a key part of the Christian homeschooling movement I've noticed. The curriculum totally hinges on values (read: "virtues"), and obedience is like, number one on the list.

So it's perfectly natural that the parenting styles that arise out of this culture are totally obsessed with keeping their kids obedient way beyond the kind of ordinary 'obedience' you'd expect from elementary school aged kids. Yikes. It leads directly to early marriage and an eschewing of higher eddication, that's for sure. Give them another generation and they'll be as insular as Mormons.

Funny, obedience isn't a part of my child-raising repertoire at all - I've never found it useful as a concept or a behaviour...My kids were visiting some homeschooled kids the other day, and they came home rather disgusted. There was a series of arbitrary house rules and everything required permission; my kids stated flatly that they don't ever want to go there again.  :?

deBeauxOs

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« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2006, 06:45:13 PM »
Quote from: brebis noire
... Funny, obedience isn't a part of my child-raising repertoire at all - I've never found it useful as a concept or a behaviour...
Gasp!  You're teaching your children to think for themselves?  Sounds like heresy to me ....  :twisted:

arborman

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« Reply #18 on: November 20, 2006, 02:34:49 PM »
Quote from: deBeauxOs
Quote from: brebis noire
... Funny, obedience isn't a part of my child-raising repertoire at all - I've never found it useful as a concept or a behaviour...
Gasp!  You're teaching your children to think for themselves?  Sounds like heresy to me ....  :twisted:


Hmm, in my case it depends on the circumstance.  I expect obedience when I say things like 'give daddy the knife, it's not for babies.'  On the other hand, when arborboy is sixteen, I'll be happy with not being kept totally in the dark.
The pleasures of the table are for every man, of every land, and no matter what place in history or society; they can be a part of all his other pleasures, and they last the longest, to console him when he has outlived the rest.

brebis noire

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« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2006, 02:42:42 PM »
I see obedience as a philosophy, not as a behaviour. Of course there's stuff I don't want my kids doing, and they know it. There's other stuff I'd like them to do and they almost always do it. Maybe I'm not that demanding, but I just don't find the concept of unquestioning obedience all that attractive.

Timebandit

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« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2006, 04:19:24 PM »
I think unquestioning obedience is dangerous.  

We occasionally run into stuff where we've told my daughter it was okay for her to be disobedient to the teacher.  And there have been times where I'm not thinking things through and had them question instructions I've given, only to realize that it was a stupid thing to tell them to do.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having to give reasons.  Like "knives are not for babies", for example.  :)
Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it. -Rene Descartes, philosopher and mathematician (1596-1650)

anne cameron

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« Reply #21 on: November 20, 2006, 06:06:09 PM »
I explained to my kids, a number of times, that any time it was possible I'd explain to them WHY I wanted (or didn't) certain behaviour but that there are times and incidences when you just do not have the option of explanation.  And if they heard me holler "jump", just leave the ground, and be careful where you land coming down, there might be a hole where you used to be.  Or if I hollered "run" head in any direction at top speed, it might be a car or a falling airplane.  We even managed to have fun with it but a couple of times it was really good that they knew tone of voice means instant obedience...a drunk wandered into our house one night and I yelled "go to the neighbours and phone the cops" and all three kids were gone in a flash. (drunk was between me and my phone).  And it worked the other way, a guy dropped his kid off for my kids to "keep an eye on" for an hour or two and one of mine hollered "Mom! CHOKING!", and I didn't ask who was choking I just moved...potato chip in the visiting tad's throat..

So yeah, there are times absolute instant obedience is important but that other kind only turns out automatons, and all too often frightened ones.

skdadl

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« Reply #22 on: October 02, 2007, 07:57:25 PM »
Gee. Can it have been almost a year since we talked about Purity Balls?

Well, Maclean's is here to save us from that long drought.

Now, I bet that last week you were thinking, when you saw that Maclean's cover with Bush dressed up as Saddam and the interesting article on Iraq by Patrick Graham that caught so much attention on lefty USian blogs, that something good had happened at Maclean's. Maybe Ken Whyte had been fired?

No such luck. Look at what they've published this week. This column too is getting attention in the U.S., where I guess attention is needed. But on a quick skim, can you see why that column should be published in Maclean's? Do you see a word about Canada there? Do you see a reason to publish this column in Maclean's except that it is maybe titillating?

I'm sure that Canadians need to know that these things go on, but this isn't a particularly revelatory piece of reflection, and if it's going to appear in Maclean's, you'd expect the reporter to go out and do a little local legwork, yes/no?

Anyway. Read, and feel ill.

sparqui

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« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2007, 08:40:25 PM »
Where is that little puke emoticon...

Quote
The cross dance is just the beginning. With supper over and the purity oaths sworn, fathers and daughters queue up to place white roses at the foot of the cross. Each group (some fathers bring more than one daughter) passes beneath two swords, held aloft by a pair of fathers to form a triangular peak. Wilson later says the swords are meant to represent the protection the fathers afford their girls. But anyone with a liberal arts education would have a tough time fending off the phallic associations.


What about the "triangular peak" -- is that not a classic symbol of maidenhood (or maidenhead)?

Any PR spin about it being about fathers getting closer to daughters is bullshit imho. It may not be as brutal and horrific as honour killings but the underlying attitude about women is pretty much the same.
If my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a tractor. -- Gilles Duceppe

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« Reply #24 on: October 03, 2007, 05:18:56 AM »
Too true.  (btw: I'm not gonna read that Maclean's article.  I try to avoid that rag on principle, and when I already been told the story sucks, ... well, ... I'll take yer werd fer et.   :wink: )

Imagine a dude who'd actually partake in one of these things.

Imagine that dude getting all excited about its significance.

Now imagine said dude's reaction to his daughter (no longer a child like when she made her stupid pledge) "disappointing" him.

shudder.

anne cameron

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« Reply #25 on: October 03, 2007, 11:39:29 AM »
Gee, all they need is a bang-up auction to end the event...they could buy, sell, and trade their daughters.

And what is a NINETEEN year old doing with her brain that she'd smilingly go along with this pervy parade?  She should either be in university or living in her own apt. , holding down a job.

What they need is a church run nunnery so that after this tasteless display is finished the virginal treasures can be put in limo's and delivered behind the convent walls, protected for all time.  Or until sold to some eager congregant who wants to fill his quiver.

Herr Magoo

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« Reply #26 on: October 03, 2007, 12:01:07 PM »
Mrs. M. often says that "women are private property, publicly administered".  I think that this ball is one of the administrative functions.
ø¤°`°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°°¤ø,

Toedancer

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« Reply #27 on: October 03, 2007, 12:02:16 PM »
Quote from: anne cameron

What they need is a church run nunnery so that after this tasteless display is finished the virginal treasures can be put in limo's and delivered behind the convent walls, protected for all time.  Or until sold to some eager congregant who wants to fill his quiver.

*Drift* Speaking of tasteless displays.

Quote
So badly did relations deteriorate between the sisters of Santa Clara in Bari that the Mother Superior ended up in hospital with scratches to her face.  -snip-

Sisters Annamaria and Gianbattista say they were driven to distraction by the nasty habits of their Mother Superior, Sister Liliana.

They became so angry that during the summer they turned on her, scratching her face and throwing her to the ground.

The two nuns have now moved into a nearby convent, leaving Sister Liliana barricaded inside.   hee-hee she's barricaded herself - snip -

He wrote to the Holy See telling them the sisters had "clearly lost their religious vocation" and with only one nun remaining has asked for permission to close the convent down.

But Sister Liliana is not going without a fight.

She has been at the nunnery for 44 years and she is not going to be pushed about now.

She has written to the Pope telling him she will only leave when God decides it is time to go.

And since she is devoted to her vow of silence it is not that easy to reason with her.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7023245.stm

LMFAO! Wonder what her 'nasty habits' were?
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steffie

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« Reply #28 on: January 26, 2008, 10:10:35 AM »
Maybe she just needed to do laundry, if the habits were- OH, come on, nobody else was thinking this?

 :lol:
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deBeauxOs

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« Reply #29 on: January 26, 2008, 12:30:40 PM »
:rotfl:   Omigawd!  I did not see this the 1st time around.  :rotfl:

 

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