Author Topic: Jokes the first  (Read 183321 times)

chcmd

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Jokes the first
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2006, 01:01:32 PM »
:rotfl:
Feel the fear and do it anyway

Herr Magoo

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Jokes the first
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2006, 01:28:26 PM »
Quote
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she
tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his
temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on
fire.


Is this funny because of its stereotype of premenstrual women, or because of the gratuitous violence?
ø¤°`°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°°¤ø,¸_¸,ø¤°°¤ø,

Debra

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« Reply #17 on: June 26, 2006, 01:31:05 PM »
for me the stereotype. the thought of anyone with scissors hanging out their head is just scary, gross and wrong.
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

Nikita

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« Reply #18 on: June 26, 2006, 01:44:47 PM »
Hm.  Okay, I can remove it if you want.

eta: I've just taken it off.  My apologies...

fern hill

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Jokes the first
« Reply #19 on: June 26, 2006, 02:14:32 PM »
I laughed. It was sooo over the top. . .

Debra

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« Reply #20 on: June 26, 2006, 02:17:12 PM »
Yes!! Thank you Fern that describes exactly why the funny.

It is too over the top to be seen as a justification for violence or a justification of sexism against menstrual women.
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

Nikita

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« Reply #21 on: June 26, 2006, 02:52:07 PM »
So...um...

Am I the world's biggest asshat?  I thought the joke was funny, as in completely ridiculous.  Of course, upon reflection, maybe it's not.

I'm so mortified right now. :oops:

Zastrozzi

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Jokes the first
« Reply #22 on: June 26, 2006, 02:54:34 PM »
I don't think so -- I laughed at the joke, probably for the reason Debra and fern gave (although as E.B. White says, analyzing a joke is like dissecting a frog -- it can be done, but the frog tends to die in the process).

I didn't think anyone who posted in response actually took offence at it.

Nikita

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« Reply #23 on: June 26, 2006, 03:06:13 PM »
Heh, okay.  I guess I'm feeling a little skittish these days, I got into a fight with a friend, on her blog, about something I posted as a response.  She misinterpreted what I wrote and it turned into a knock-down-drag-'em-out blowout.  

Here's the joke again, in all it's glory.

Quote
A study conducted by UBC's Department of Psychiatry
has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds
attractive on a man can differ depending on where she
is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to
men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she
tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his
temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on
fire.

Further studies in this area have been canceled

DSquared

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Jokes the first
« Reply #24 on: June 27, 2006, 09:55:45 PM »
Since there is a new group of recruits being trained for Brandon police, I thought I'd share this joke I read recently:

A rookie officer was driving about on duty for the first time, with a more experienced colleague. The first call that comes in concerns a group of people who are loitering. So, the officer mozies on down to check it out, and sure enough, there's a group of people standing around. The rookie rolls down the window, and says, "please disperse from the area." Everyone looks at each other, confused. Then the rookie bakred out "DISPERSE NOW OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED! THIS IS AN ORDER!" So the group walks away from the area, confused and bewildered. The rookie then turned to the colleague and said, "did I do a good job dispersing the crowd?" The experienced officer responded, "yes, considering that was a bus stop."

deBeauxOs

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Jokes the first
« Reply #25 on: June 27, 2006, 10:30:47 PM »
Quote from: Nikita
... Here's the joke again, in all it's glory.

A study conducted by UBC's Department of Psychiatry
has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds
attractive on a man can differ depending on where she
is in her menstrual cycle. ...


Nope, I didn't find it funny but then I don't suffer from a menstrual cycle anymore.   :lol:

pogo

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« Reply #26 on: June 28, 2006, 12:19:12 AM »
Quote from: Nikita
So...um...

Am I the world's biggest asshat?  I thought the joke was funny, as in completely ridiculous.  Of course, upon reflection, maybe it's not.

I'm so mortified right now. :oops:


I saw a comic on television who said that Vancouver is the worst audience to work for as there is a pause after every punchline while people assess whether they are allowed to laugh.

Debra

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« Reply #27 on: June 28, 2006, 08:56:22 AM »
copied from Michelle on Rabble;

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers.

The children began to say:
"Red.........................cherry,"
"Yellow..................lemon,"
"Green......................lime"
"Orange....................orange"

Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.

"Well," the teacher said, "I'll give you all a clue, it's what your parents may sometimes call each other."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!"
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

skdadl

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Jokes the first
« Reply #28 on: June 28, 2006, 09:11:48 AM »
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?


1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
   

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
   

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
   

4. Rottweiler: Make me.
   

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
   

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
   

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
   

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.


9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
   

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
   

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."
   

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
   

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
   

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

brebis noire

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« Reply #29 on: June 28, 2006, 09:16:51 AM »
:mrgreen:  :mrgreen:
not quite  :rotfl: but verrry close.

 

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