Author Topic: Headlines  (Read 19564 times)

Debra

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« on: December 28, 2006, 11:53:17 AM »
Headlines can be funny, bad and downright atrocious,

I'm going to sticky this and keep it as a running thread.

What prompts it is this headline which I'd say falls under atrocious

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Physicians Enlisted in Efforts to Keep Demented Drivers Off the Road

To a story about

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The surge of baby boomers now entering their 60s means more drivers on the road who may be impaired by dementia or other cognitive impairments. The Alzheimer's Disease Research Center of Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis has developed a workshop to train health care providers to identify potentially unsafe drivers with dementia.
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

'lance

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« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2006, 11:58:22 AM »
Yikes. From the headline, you'd think it had something to do with road rage.

I didn't read this myself, but a long time ago a friend wrote that she'd see the headline

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Nothing Can Replace God, Pope Tells Cheering Crowd

GDKitty

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« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2006, 12:25:34 PM »
This was a favourite of mine--I sent it to an addictions researcher friend, back in October:
"Eating can be as addictive as sex, drugs Yale researchers" Oct 20, 2006 TorStar.
The full article is behind a subscription wall now, but you can still see the abstract and--most importantly--the title  :lol:
I realize that this isn't playing-fair, but my favourite Onion headline of all-time is: "Road-Kill Squirrel Remembered As Frantic, Indecisive"  :rotfl:

skdadl

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« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2006, 01:38:02 PM »
Christina McCall (Newman) once wrote of remembering the title on a fashion feature in a 1950s issue of Chatelaine magazine: "Spend the summer under a great big sailor."   :lol:

The concern about drivers who are developing dementia is serious, and I suppose that that is a literally correct use of the term "demented," as in "not mented any more," but the word has been flung around metaphorically for so long that it is a jolt to read it. I work on finding ways to talk about people who have dementia, though, rather than personifying the illness.

Driving and aging can be a problem more generally, of course. You don't have to have dementia to be a problem driver.

sparqui

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« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2006, 03:04:02 PM »
On the lighter side, an old one (from February 2004 Superbowl game) but a funny one:

From the Dave Barry blog:

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Janet Jackson has another, um, single out
If my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a tractor. -- Gilles Duceppe

Debra

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« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2006, 09:21:02 AM »
here's one that caught my eye.

Even Pogge's ejection can't stop Canada  :lol:
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

Croghan27

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classless ..
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2006, 10:37:10 AM »
Sometime ago a notable hockey player for Philly was kill in a car accident. He was very good and apparently very popular. When his parents came over from Sweden they allowed the medical authorities to "unplug" the machines that kept up the appearance of life.

According to his wishes his organs were donated to others that required them. Deep in the bowels of the Sports section of the Sun came the enlightening sub-headline after the story of his organ donation.

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FLYERS TAKE HEART
[/b]

The story was of how the team was inspired by his example .... suuuure ... I am sure the sub-editor mean that all along.
"It is also a good rule not to put overmuch confidence in the observational results that are put forward until they are confirmed by theory." -- Arthur Stanley Eddington

skdadl

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« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2006, 11:00:56 AM »
Quote from: Debra

Even Pogge's ejection can't stop Canada  :lol:


Ha ha ha!  :D

Croghan27

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« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2007, 02:15:07 AM »
While checking out some news sites I came across this about a prisoner in France: (CBC)

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French prisoner charged with cannibalism

He claimed he ate his cellmate's heart - in truth it was just a lung and a few muscles ... but the whole situation was summed up by the man's lawyer, Fabien Picchiotino, in a masterpiece of understatement:

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He was handling his detention badly


 :lol:      :lol:      :lol:      :lol:
"It is also a good rule not to put overmuch confidence in the observational results that are put forward until they are confirmed by theory." -- Arthur Stanley Eddington

skdadl

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« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2007, 05:47:44 AM »
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He was handling his detention badly


 :shock:  :D

Quite. What I want to know: did he kill the cellmate to get at the lungs, or was cellmate already dead?

gunnar gunnarson

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Re: classless ..
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2007, 10:55:27 AM »
Quote from: Croghan27
Sometime ago a notable hockey player for Philly was kill in a car accident. He was very good and apparently very popular. When his parents came over from Sweden they allowed the medical authorities to "unplug" the machines that kept up the appearance of life.

According to his wishes his organs were donated to others that required them. Deep in the bowels of the Sports section of the Sun came the enlightening sub-headline after the story of his organ donation.

Quote
FLYERS TAKE HEART
[/b]

The story was of how the team was inspired by his example .... suuuure ... I am sure the sub-editor mean that all along.


Pelle Lindbergh.

Gigi

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« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2007, 11:07:23 AM »
My favourite all time headline involved a typo in the Baarie Examiner about 15 years ago.  I swear to dog that the headline read:

"Students use summer to get head at shcool"


That was a pretty important A they missed.

Debra

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« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2007, 11:27:52 AM »
:rotfl:
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” —  Josephine Hart

'lance

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« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2007, 11:29:53 AM »
Huh. And back then, I was glad I never went to summer school.

GDKitty

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« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2007, 02:06:56 PM »

 

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