Author Topic: BnR Dream Diary  (Read 53969 times)

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BnR Dream Diary
« on: December 30, 2006, 01:54:31 PM »
Last night, I was in the military. In Iraq. I was standing outside a tent talking to a Lieutenant or Colonel or somebody of authority. He was a mean, lean, muscular, tough-looking old guy. He was really mean, barking at everyone and insulting them. It was dusty all around me (wind blowing up the sand around us, but not quite a sand-storm). It was crowded too. The lieutenant and I went into a room. There were other soldiers, each one standing gaurd over an Iraqi prisoner kneeling on the ground, hands and feet tied, and head close to the floor. There were other guards at the door.

The lieutenant started picking on one prisoner, in particular. Hurled abuses at him and kicked him. Then, he ordered me to shoot the prisoner in the rectum! I contemplated if I could shoot the lieutenant instead, but decided that all the gaurds would protect him, not me and I would end up dying. So, he kept barking at me as well, yelling at me to shoot the prisoner in his asshole. He did a countdown 3-2-1 for me to shoot. And so, I did. I had imagined his insides being ripped apart and spilling out, but that didn't happen. The lieutenant wanted me to do it again, this time with the prisoner standing up. He ordered the prisoner to stand. Prisoner stood up, his back toward me, and the lieutenant barked at me to shoot the prisoner's asshole again. I looked around wanting ever more to shoot the lieutenant instead. I saw a ray of light shining in through a crack in the door, and then I woke up.

I went back to 'half-sleeping' and being half-awake. Me, thwap and his son were on the second floor of the hospital. thwap wanted to go down to the Coffee Cupboard to get ice-cream. I said to him that they only have 2 or 3 flavours, and trust me, there really is a bigger, better place on the 2nd floor around the library that has way more flavours. I kept seeing all these flavours floating in front of my eyes. I woke up, and decided I must've been dreaming that cause I was super thirsty. I always have a glass of water next to me, and I drank it all.

Then, I thought that Suzette's Lofty is quite big, and then I remembered the beheading of the American that was video-taped - 1 or 2 years ago.

Next time, I'll post my more pleasant dreams.

kuri

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« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2006, 02:15:51 PM »
You're lucky to remember pleasant dreams.

I actually remembered a dream last night (rare) it started out okay. I was smooching some hawt guy I met at a lecture in the back of a lecture theatre. But then we had to run for some reason and this woman was throwing huge amount of poisonous caterpillars everyone. So everyone from the theatre was running and trying to hide from the scourge of (incredibly creepy) caterpillars. Then the guy I was smooching turned out a cat. A few moments later he (and almost everyone else except for caterpillar lady) disappeared and I was running away from her in some kind of weird garden. Then I woke up.

Are you into dream interpretation, eph? My MIL is, she's really into Jungian psych. Me, I'm not so convinced by it. I was curious when I had dreams in which I was in a wheelchair quite often while I was in the hospital but I was annoyed at a lot of the sources I looked at which said that dreaming of being disabled was automatically an indication of low self-esteem. I though, well, what if you actually are disabled? Do those people have low self-esteem? So, the whole thing seemed too ableist and even a bit sexist and I dug into it. Maybe there needs to be a reclaiming of the dream interpretation biz....

skdadl

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« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2006, 05:22:09 PM »
You too, kuri? I never remember pleasant dreams -- never. Maybe I have them, but since childhood I've always known that my remembered dreams will be nightmares, or at least unpleasantly surrealistic. The ones I remember clearly are always bad, sometimes very bad.

Instead of traditional analysis, especially Jungian, which seems to insist on standard equivalences between images and meaning -- likely to date quickly, as you observe, kuri -- I have found it useful to try a looser kind of free association. That person in the dream, or that object, or that action -- what is the first thing it makes you think of? Or what was the first thing you thought of as you shook the dream off? Or was there something that happened during the day that made you remember that dream from last night?

A couple of times, talking to people who were listening closely to my free associations, I've had great luck in realizing ... something ... from my dreams. I think they do tell us about our deep worries, which we sometimes are trying not to look at. Or they just remind us of things we always worry about and can't fix.

Toedancer

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« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2006, 06:14:00 PM »
Quote from: skdadl
I think they do tell us about our deep worries, which we sometimes are trying not to look at. Or they just remind us of things we always worry about and can't fix.


I'm inclined to thinks as well, especially the free association. I love the caterpillar lady! And don't they just always start as fairly normal (smooching with a hot guy).

Sticking with the deep worries/try not to look at, my latest one has me quite dumbfounded. Cos I usually never get superpowers other than the allowable 'flying' all humans love in their dreams.

It did not start out normal. I was in a fairly modern city with lots of people spaces and outdoor sculptures/waterfalls etc. Very nice. Then a mega-rich 'guy' walked by with his entourage and his 'enhancer woman'. Enhancer women have the power to scan you and know your innermost desires/curiosities/subjects (science/art/music/archeology/astronomy/whatever. Enhancers make your life so much enjoyable, always keeping you abreast of new developments in your favourite subject, taking you to places you didn't know existed, etc.(all on the mega-rich's dime). I knew that probably within this circle there would be a 'scanner corporate guy' who has the ability to find 'enhancers' out in the world. This was my biggest fear. I was an enhancer and I worked very hard at not getting 'found out'. Therefore I was basically homeless, always roaming from place to place. The reason? Because once your found you are 'sold' to the highest bidder and are owned for life. I could feel myself being scanned and instantly my heart started racing and I was doing all I could to make myself 'still as a mouse', so as not expose myself. I woke up. Has stayed with me all the day long.
"Democracy is not the law of the majority, it's the protection of the minority." -Albert Camus 1913-1960

Nikita

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« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2006, 11:28:40 PM »
I usually remember the truly weird or truly nasty dreams, all I remember of the pleasant ones is the warm fuzzy feeling.

The weirdest one I've had lately started off with me driving a huge SUV, think a hummer or something.  I'm driving down Albert Street in Regina and just as I am over the bridge and close to the Ledge, I look down at the car beside me.  It's a black Monte Carlo and in the passenger seat is the Premier, rocking out to an iPod.  Imagine if you can, Lorne Calvert, head banging in the front seat of a black Monte Carlo wearing an iPod.  Just thinking about it makes me laugh.  (I work in the Ledge, so I'm not that much of a nerd that I randomly dream of the Premier).  ;)

The worst dream I've ever had was a recurring one when I was a kid.  In our old farm house, there was a long hallway in the upstairs and there were closets all along it.  In the dream, the end of the hallway was dark and shadowy and I would be standing in my bedroom doorway, looking down that hallway when a creaky iron gate would open up in the shadows (there was no gate in real life).  Out of this black hole would glide a statue - not just any statue, it was the one of Jesus from my church, the one with all the wounds painted on in very realistic fashion.  Anyway Jesus would glide out and stop at the top of the stairs and slowly the face would raise to look at me and I'd see that instead of sad eyes there were no eyes at all, just black holes in his face.  Then he'd slowly point at me with his left hand and gesture with two fingers and two ninjas dressed in all black would appear from behind the statue and come toward me.  I couldn't run anywhere or move at all until they grabbed me but once they did I'd struggle and fight.  They would take me over to Jesus and make me kneel, and he would look down at me with those empty eyes and gesture again.  Then the ninjas would throw me down the stairs into an empty abyss and I would just fall forever but I'd always wake up with a start, screaming.  I had this dream every couple of months for about four years or so.  I still think about it sometimes, it was very clear and always exactly the same.

You know how nuns are sometimes called "brides of Christ"?  Well, now "ninjas of Christ" is a bit of a joke in my house...  :lol:

When I remember a dream I think about it quite a bit.  I mean, it's my brain telling me something that I have to decode.  It's so interesting to me because in our daily concious lives, I don't think many people are aware of their brain as a separate entity from their own conciousness; I certainly don't.  But in dreams, your concious self is asleep but your brain keeps going, exploring and sorting and creating.

skdadl

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« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2006, 05:17:20 AM »
How did you know about ninjas, Nikita? Can you remember any conscious daytime associations that you had with them?

Toe:

Quote
I knew that probably within this circle there would be a 'scanner corporate guy' who has the ability to find 'enhancers' out in the world. This was my biggest fear. I was an enhancer and I worked very hard at not getting 'found out'. Therefore I was basically homeless, always roaming from place to place. The reason? Because once your found you are 'sold' to the highest bidder and are owned for life. I could feel myself being scanned and instantly my heart started racing and I was doing all I could to make myself 'still as a mouse', so as not expose myself.


That makes me think of Atwood right away, although it's such a different cast of characters, such a different setting. You should think of turning that into a story.

It's funny -- I really shrank from Handmaid's Tale when it first came out, just too grim and perhaps too ... I dunno -- literalizing? ... for me.

But lately I've been thinking about it more and more too. It bothers me -- it does work from a very deep structure in women's minds.

Toedancer

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« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2006, 08:33:04 AM »
Quote
skdadl"You should think of turning that into a story.


Well that's just funny Skdadl, I can't write. Anything that is eloquent in my head never shows up that way on paper. I've never been able to extract from mode to mode. I did like this though. When I told SO my dream the first thing he said was "Who were you looking for?" And he was right, I was looking for another one like me, to teach how to live as I did, to find more of us to create some sort of underground. It was illegal to advertise your talents so I just hung out in the 'business sections' and scanned bankers/lawyers until that special combination of brains and innocence  showed up (they'd pay and never turn you in). Very few. But I found one. A senior level banker who was sadly missing his heritage. He spoke Hebrew and Castilian Spanish (I don't even know if that exists) He was mid-50's, paunchy/briefcase/divorced. I offered him to connect with his ancestors, the food, the textures, the colours, the shops, people, whatever I could find in the city. He agreed. I spent 8 hours with him. Two great cookbooks, the shops for the ingredients, the people who knew and spoke his languages. Found an older uncle in California (he didn't know about) who remembered his village, Andaulcia. He was planning a trip with his travel agent when I finished. His life was richer and I had $300.00 in my pocket and that's when I found myself walking through the people square with the water fountain almost got caught.
"Democracy is not the law of the majority, it's the protection of the minority." -Albert Camus 1913-1960

steffie

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« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2006, 08:39:12 AM »
The woman trapped in a Paris lift reminded me of a dream I had not long ago.  I was in an elevator, and it was speeding....  UPwards.   I was scared, but not in that heart-in-throat way that you must have been, Debra, plummetting downward.  (OMG!)  Anyway, I have since decided that it was reflective of my life in general moving in an upward direction, and my fear was "where will this crazy elevator take me?"
Let the beauty of what you love be what you do - Rumi

Nikita

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« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2006, 12:23:02 PM »
Quote from: skdadl
How did you know about ninjas, Nikita? Can you remember any conscious daytime associations that you had with them?

Yup.  "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" - the ninjas worked for the diabolical Shredder.

skdadl

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« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2006, 12:49:15 PM »
Did you like them, or did they scare you? And what did you think of Jesus? How did you learn about him?

Nikita

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« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2006, 01:03:57 PM »
Well, the ninjas were the minions of the evil Shredder and they sort of scared me a bit, because they were so sneaky and efficient in their evil exploits.  But it was the fact that they were faceless too, their whole face was covered except for their eyes, which in the cartoon were small white slits.  

I grew up in a very Catholic household, and we were always told that if we weren't good Jesus would punish us.  Even as a kid I never really got into the whole Catholic thing, I could never fully believe in God or the assorted bullshit they taught us in Catechism, but there was still that little bit of guilt  - of course!  the Catholic guilt! - about not believing. So, in the dream Jesus was punishing me for not believing.  It scared me half to death, and it really freaked my mum.  She even told my grandma about it and the two of them prayed for me.

eta: The praying for me really pissed me off.   :evil:

skdadl

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« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2006, 01:25:03 PM »
Quote
Anyway Jesus would glide out and stop at the top of the stairs and slowly the face would raise to look at me and I'd see that instead of sad eyes there were no eyes at all, just black holes in his face.

Quote
But it was the fact that they were faceless too, their whole face was covered except for their eyes, which in the cartoon were small white slits.


Verrry interesting.

If you're not having the dream any more, that probably means that you sorted something out. But it would be interesting to figure out what that something was. Eyes seem to have meant something to you when you were little, or maybe the way that other people looked at you.

skdadl

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« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2006, 01:30:43 PM »
And a PS:

This is an interesting association too:

Quote
You know how nuns are sometimes called "brides of Christ"? Well, now "ninjas of Christ" is a bit of a joke in my house...


How did the nuns you knew dress, Nikita? And what did you think of them?

fern hill

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« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2006, 01:52:37 PM »
This is the best dream I ever had (and it probably won't surprise anybody). I was a hockey player, a defenseman. I was in the corner trying to dig the puck out. It was really bright and loud and sweaty. Finally, I got the puck, passed it to a forward, who streaked off and got a goal! :yay: I got an assist! I woke up laughing.

Nikita

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« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2006, 02:14:01 PM »
Heh heh, I hated the nuns more than I hated the priests.  Sister Rosalyn was the worst - her and my mum disagreed about the Catechism and Sister Rosalyn took it out on me.  But the habits only made an appearance on special occasions, and it wasn't a huge stretch to go from bitchy nuns to scary ninjas doing the Lord's bidding.

Oh, and I almost forgot this little detail - mum used to float the idea of me actually becoming a nun.  "It's a great way to see the world!" she said.  Hmph.  I totally resented the idea and when I was 12 I finally told her there was no way in hell I would ever become a nun.  That's also when the dream stopped.  Go figure, eh?

 

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